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Ayato_kun
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Name: Ayato
Country: United States
State: Oklahoma
Metro: Tulsa
Interests: Music, games, and friends
Expertise: What? I'm supposed to be good at something? No way!
By the way, I'm 19 years old
Message: message me
Member Since:
3/30/2006
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| You climb up on a tower, turn around, cross your arms, and close your eyes. You know that only a few feet below are a group of people with their arms ready to catch you. You know it, but your body doesn't accept that as enough information to fall backwards. You have to steel yourself, quiet your mind and body and just fall backwards.
The instant right before you fall you are calm: your mind is still and your body hasn't realized that you tricked it yet. The next instant you feel regret rushing through your body. "What have I done?" The instant after that you've resigned yourself to the fact that you can't undo it any more. The fall seems to last for an eternity, an eternity of wondering if the people below are going to catch you or if you'll fall right through their arms. What makes it worse is if you've fallen before, expecting to be caught, but for some reason you landed on your head...
Telling your friend that you "like" them can be as scary as that. You're taking a risk...a risk of losing the friendship that you've worked so hard to build. If you've fallen out of a tree, broken something, and then had to spend a few months of pain trying to recover, it's going to be hard to get over the fear of climbing. Your body doesn't want to feel the pain, your mind equates this risk to the pain, getting up the nerve to try again is almost stifling. People will do what they want. The trick is do you want to keep the peace more than you want to be completely open?
Landing in the open arms is renewing, strengthening, and very encouraging. It's so much easier to jump the next time, or even get up the next time you crash at something else. You have tasted the trust, and you realize it's worth the risk. Very liberating...
On another note, I like swords...
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| Crap, I've slipped back into my old habits. I'm going to take an hour nap and hope I wake up now.
Apparently, not having any classes on Tuesday means I have double work on Thursday, which means I don't get to have much sleep. I have a CGI project and a PHP speech due in five hours.
Alright, mental power: wake up to alarm.
I will get up
Immediately after it goes off
I can do this
I hope
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| Tonight I dined well. I was invited over to someones house for dinner in exchange for some tutoring work. I got the good end of that deal, no doubt about it. Anyway, I got to meet his wife and child; that kid was the cutest four year old I've met in a long time. The wife was very good at cleaning: the house was spotless. Solomon (the son) was not only really sweet and friendly, but also very intelligent. He knows a huge portion of three different languages, which is very impressive to me. On a side note, I like the sound of Russian. I wish I had time to learn it. Anyway, back to what I was talking about. We drove up, and Solomon waved at us from the window and waved for us to come in. He was so excited. I was a bit nervous...you know, new culture and all. I wanted to make the best impression I could and not offend them in any way. I didn't know anything about their culture, however, so I just thought about generic things: watch them, eat everything offered, don't use the left hand for anything. We stepped in the house and he took off his shoes, so I did the same. So far so good.
The dinner was amazing. Lamb, potatoes, salad, cranberries, ice cream: this family went the whole nine yards. I haven't had a meal so good in a really long time. He told me that lamb has something in it that prolongs one's life, which is why God had the Israelites eat it so much. I hadn't had Lamb in years, so it tasted just amazing. Now, I was quite a picky eater growing up, so it took me some serious mental power to eat the red pepper things in the salad, and there were a lot of them. The whole time I was thinking "Don't make a face, don't make a face." You see, growing up my parents would make me eat tomatoes, which I didn't like at all. Every time I ate one, I'd make this horrible face while I was eating it. I pretty much had to convince myself that I liked these red peppers tonight and exercise serious muscle control tonight. But it worked: I ate it all and it was really good. What's more, this family likes spicy stuff. We had extra hot habanero sauce and horse radish. For today, I was a true New Mexican. Over all, I had a wonderful time, enjoyed a wonderful meal, and met an awesome family. Life is good.
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| I was invited to see a movie with a friend, which was cool because he paid for it. I have no money, so anything I do is either free (swingdancing in some cases, climbing trees, video games, etc.), or someone else is kind enough to treat me for it. I suppose he's doing to pay for the calc tutoring I'm giving him, which makes it a fair trade to me.
Anyway, I really liked the movie. Part of the reason is because the main portion of the film was in my home state, New Mexico. I don't know if they actually filmed it there, but it looked like home to me. One of the other wonderful things about it was the fact that one of the main characters was a computer programmer. The guy was completely straight, but kept saying the most awkward things. He was just too naive to tell. Reminds me of me. Here are some awesome quotes:
"I was afraid of that...afraid that you'd like me without knowing what I really am. I'm not a cool or a biker. I'm a computer programmer...I'm a geek."
~the movie
I leaned over to Val: "Wait a second...he's saying we aren't cool? Obviously he's never been in New Mexico"
Then the girl in the movie proceeded to tell him that he wasn't a geek, and that straightforward, sweet people are both hard to find and much sought after.
Let's see here...more hilarious quotes:
"I'm sherrif of a town of 200, I got my certification online. For the weapons training, the told us to play doom."
~the movie again
Anyway, good times. New Mexico rocks, though I don't think I'll be living there when grow up.
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